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Pitt Power Outage Notice Affects One Person

Staff Writers Dec 17, 2023
Pitt Power Outage Notice Affects One Person
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On December 17th at around 1:30 AM, Pitt sent out a notice to the community that the power would be out until around 3:00 AM. Most of the students were not in the dorms, as they had moved out after their finals. Scrambling to find someone to interview through Zoom before the crisis passes, the Pitiful News sent out their interns from their homes outside of Philly to campus. The people who drove missed the event by 3 and a half hours and some of our interns are stuck in the Philly airport. No, we are not comping them for gas and flights as the internships are unpaid.

When some of them finally got to campus at 6:30 AM, they went on the prowl for people to interview on this event. When going into the dorms, the most common answer to our questions was nothing as no one was there. We don’t know why our interns asked questions to empty dorm rooms and we’re working to rectify the situation by hiring more sane interns. After 2 hours of searching, the interns finally found someone.

Evgeniy Borisovich Mirman, a freshman majoring in Undecided (BA) with a plan of getting a certificate in Irresolute Studies, was the last student on campus. He wanted to go home, but hadn’t made any concrete plans, which was why he was still there. When asked about the power outage, he responded in what we assume is a classic Evgeniy way with “What power outage? I was asleep during that time.” He promptly pondered whether calling the police would be a good idea, giving our interns enough time to escape.