Auditors Uncover Mysterious Drain on University Finances
As the University grapples with federal funding cuts and a constantly swelling student population, the process of drafting the 2026–2...
10 Things To Do Instead Of Studying For Finals
In Student Life, Dec 07, 2025Pitt Panther Identification Will Soon Be Stored In The Mind
The recent and universally loved switch to digital, mobile-phone-based identification for Pitt students has only brought about more d...
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Auditors Uncover Mysterious Drain on University Finances
As the University grapples with federal funding cuts and a constantly swelling student population, the process of drafting the 2026–2027 operating budget has been particularly content...
In Current, Feb 17, 2026
SHOCKING: Thing Pitt Admin Said Wouldn’t Happen Again Happened Again
BREAKING NEWS: In a lame attempt at distracting the student body with the winter storm, this week the University of Pittsburgh has discreetly announced a 720% raise for Sloaner K. Der...
In Current, Feb 04, 2026
Proposal: New Way For Admin to Determine Campus Safety After Winter Storms
All Pitt admin should have to walk from the Boulevard to Cathy before deciding if the campus is safe enough for students to return to classes after winter storms.
In Opinion, Jan 30, 2026
10 Things To Do Instead Of Studying For Finals
Isn’t it so kind of your professors to have their finals weighted so heavily? Aren’t they the best for not making Canvas grades public so you have no idea what grade you need on your ...
In Student Life, Dec 07, 2025
The Turkeys Leading The Polls For Presidential Pardon
America is chomping at the bit as to which turkeys will be pardoned this Thanksgiving. Our team of insiders and pollsters have informed us that the mass media, spreading fake news as ...
In Politics, Nov 25, 2025
Bring the Criterion Van to Campus
As many of you know, there was a Maybelline pop-up shop some time ago, and a time before that, there was Shein, I think. However, because I am not into fashion or makeup, I feel exclu...
In Opinion, Oct 29, 2025
Pitt Panther Identification Will Soon Be Stored In The Mind
The recent and universally loved switch to digital, mobile-phone-based identification for Pitt students has only brought about more discussion for technological advancements in the fi...
In Science and Technology, Oct 13, 2025
Chicken Restaurants: The New Yorker’s Perspective
The land between three rivers is commonly known for its pierogi, Yinzer accent, and iconic football team. Its charm as a modest yet remarkable gem of a city truly makes Pittsburgh unl...
In Food and Culture, Sep 30, 2025
Pitt Athletic Department to Defund Electric Scooters, Improve Gameday Performance
Following the arguably embarrassing losses to West Virginia University’s and University of Louisville’s football teams, the University of Pittsburgh Athletic Department has announced ...
In Current, Sep 30, 2025
Student Dies of Disease in New Rec Center Hot Tub
An unidentified student was found unconscious in the new Recreation Center’s hot tub area.
In Current, Sep 30, 2025
Featured
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Proposal: New Way For Admin to Determine Campus Safety After Winter Storms
In Opinion, -
Pitt Athletic Department to Defund Electric Scooters, Improve Gameday Performance
In Current, -
Opinion: Pitt Med Research Filled with Incomprehensible Jargon
In Science and Technology, -
Pitt Student Surprised to Learn Poor Mood Result of Self-Destructive Habits
In Student Life,