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The Pitiful News Guide to 2024 SGB Elections

Staff Writers Feb 26, 2024
The Pitiful News Guide to 2024 SGB Elections
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On February 27, Pitt undergrads (except for those losers in the College of General Studies) will cast their votes for Student Government Board for the 2024-25 academic year. Each student is allowed to vote for one presidential candidate and up to three different board members. So who is vying for your vote?

Who cares. There’s 9 people running and 9 open positions. It’s not an election, it’s an appointment. Here’s a list of everyone running.

The Blank Slate: the one running for President

  • Board Member candidate 1
  • Board Member candidate 2
  • Board Member candidate 3

Advocate:

  • Board Member candidate 4
  • Board Member candidate 5

Envision:

  • Board Member candidate 6
  • Board Member candidate 7
  • Board Member candidate 8

At least two of them will probably resign anyway (and when they do, you won’t get a choice on their replacements either). There are referendums on the ballot, at least you have a choice with those.

At least having no election saves us from any drama. Remember 2021 and 2022? Now SGB can’t publicly implode on themselves (probably).

Editor’s Note: SGB, we know you do important things. Please be nice to us when we ask for money.