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We Asked 100 Pitt Students What WVU Stands For
Here’s what they said:.West Virginia’s UndiesWoefully Vast UnderworldWomen Vote? UghWestern Virginia UniversityWest Vermin UniversityWest Vagrant UniversityWest Viagra UniversityWest ...
In Sports, Sep 13, 2024
Pitt Clubs “Finally Get It” After Reveal That All Internal Communications in SORC is Handled by One Very Overworked Carrier Pigeon
In a recent email to Pitt organization officers, SORC staff apologized for a temporary freeze in deposits and distributions, explaining that “Herald” had broken his wing which would i...
In Student Life, Apr 01, 2024
To Our Surprise, 'Pittsburgh Popcorn Company' in Oakland Actually Not Front for the Mob
Have you ever seen anyone enter or leave from the popcorn shop on Fifth Avenue? Have you ever even noticed anyone working behind the counter, or witnessed a stranger walking along, ea...
In Food and Culture, Apr 01, 2024
Pitt Students Celebrate Irrevocable Effects of Climate Change With Games, Festivities
This afternoon Pitt students could be seen on the Cathedral Lawn and in Schenley Plaza enjoying concerning levels of ultraviolet and thermal radiation. To celebrate the ever-increasin...
In Student Life, Apr 01, 2024
Interview at the Briney Pickle
The Briney Pickle, the new deli station for the renovated Eatery, opened recently. We, as one of Pitt’s newspapers (arguably the better one), got to have a one-on-one interview with t...
In Food and Culture, Apr 01, 2024
The Pitiful News Best Of 2024
The Pitiful News’ annual “Best Of” survey gives a bunch of nerds wasting their Monday nights the chance to rank their favorite shops and people in Pittsburgh.
In Student Life, Apr 01, 2024
The Pitiful News Guide to 2024 SGB Elections
On February 27, Pitt undergrads (except for those losers in the College of General Studies) will cast their votes for Student Government Board for the 2024-25 academic year. Each stud...
In Politics, Feb 26, 2024
Fundraisers Shocked to Learn College Students are also in Need of Money
Approaching a group of students this evening, fundraiser Jesse Jenkins was hoping to collect a few dollars for the local chapter of Children’s Rescue Area Program (C.R.A.P.), but was ...
In Student Life, Feb 26, 2024
Busted! Chancellor Gabel Caught Red-Handed Pulling Fire Alarm to Dispel Union Rally
On January 30 at 12:45 pm, the fire alarm was pulled in the Cathedral of Learning, forcing an evacuation of the entire building. After arriving on the scene, the Pittsburgh Bureau of ...
In Current, Jan 30, 2024
Spring Panhellenic Recruitment Swarms WPU
On the weekend of January 13-14, Pitt’s Collegiate Panhellenic Association (Panhel) took over the William Pitt Union for their annual sorority recruitment event. Bravely clad in skirt...
In Student Life, Jan 24, 2024
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Nordenberg Hall sets fire to its own residents in a bout of revenge, Resident Director claims
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University of Pittsburgh Dining Hall Gets Name Change
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The Best LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga Easter Eggs You Probably Missed!
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Questionable Roommate Pact: Pitt Student Forced into Lifetime Indentured Servitude
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