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Protests briefly disrupt Board of Trustees meeting; administrators displeased
A series of disruptive actions interrupted the University of Pittsburgh’s Board of Trustees meeting on September 29. In the aftermath, administrators’ feelings on the disruptions rang...
In Current, Oct 16, 2023
Brave police and security guards hold back ruthless Pitt students from rushing the field after upset win
On Saturday, October 14th, the Pittsburgh Panthers pulled off a shocking upset win against undefeated ACC opponent Louisville. Coming into the matchup at Acrisure Stadium Heinz Field,...
In Sports, Oct 16, 2023
Professor Apologizes After Rescheduling Office Hours No One Planned to Attend to Begin With
In an email memo sent out this afternoon, HIST 0187 Professor Fulcrum Banks apologized profusely for rescheduling his Wednesday office hours from 12-1 pm to 2-3 pm EST. Banks cited a ...
In Student Life, Sep 29, 2023
Oakland’s Vigilantes Plead Residents to Refrain From Screaming “Help” in Middle of Night Unless in Sincere Danger
Many of Oakland’s very own amateur crimestoppers have begun to speak out against a viral trend where participants out in public loudly scream that they are in peril and require immedi...
In Student Life, Sep 29, 2023
Dr. Oz declared winner of Pennsylvania Senate race after thousands of absentee ballots arrive from New Jersey at the 11th hour
In a shocking turn of events, noted pseudoscientist and Harvard alumnus Dr. Mehmet Oz has been declared the winner of the Pennsylvania senate race after thousands of mail-in ballots p...
In Politics, Nov 15, 2022
Nordenberg Hall sets fire to its own residents in a bout of revenge, Resident Director claims
On Saturday, September 17th, Nordenberg Hall experienced its third fire-related evacuation of the semester. The hall, mainly inhabited by freshman students and misfortunate Resident A...
In Student Life, Oct 18, 2022
University of Pittsburgh Dining Hall Gets Name Change
As of October 1, 2022, The Eatery at Towers will now go by the name of The Shittery. This name change comes after multiple gastroenterologists at the University of Pittsburgh Medical ...
In Food and Culture, Oct 05, 2022
South Oakland Announces Rebrand to ‘Soak Land’ for Summer Season, Replaces Sidewalks with Slip-and-Slides
Today, officials of Pittsburgh’s best and brightest neighborhood announced a change that might take some getting used to. In a shocking move, the home for most of the University of Pi...
In Current, Jul 11, 2022
Opinion: It’s Time to Repeal the Third Amendment
Okay, okay, settle down now. I know that all of you 3rd Amendment stans might take this the wrong way, but I can assure you that I will have changed your mind on this subject by the e...
In Opinion, Jun 07, 2022
The Best LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga Easter Eggs You Probably Missed!
The brand new LEGO Star Wars game is finally here, and it’s everything we’ve been waiting for! Outside of the amazing main storyline, there are TONS of quirky easter eggs hidden aroun...
In Entertainment, May 05, 2022
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Devastated Pitt Student Had No Idea There Was An Election
In Politics, -
Opinion: Pitt Med Research Filled with Incomprehensible Jargon
In Science and Technology, -
Pitt Student Surprised to Learn Poor Mood Result of Self-Destructive Habits
In Student Life, -
Pitt Clubs “Finally Get It” After Reveal That All Internal Communications in SORC is Handled by One Very Overworked Carrier Pigeon
In Student Life,